The child in my head

It’s funny, when you cultivate enough of a separation between your thoughts, and your Self, to watch the mind at work.  It is something else.  Mine, personally, doesn’t stop!  There’s always a challenge it is creating, a to-do list, a creative plan, a fear of demise.

Psychic energy has a life of it’s own and seeks cathexis, or a concentrated point of activity, constantly.  We don’t only have our own psychic energy going on.  We pick up the tone or frequency of the psychic energy of those around us; for those of us who are more sensitive, we absorb this tone and it can color the train of our thoughts.  As we move our bodies in yoga, “traumas” held in the cells are released, and may trigger memories or thought processes as well.  There is always something for the ego to find to cling on to.

With meditation and yoga, what naturally begins to occur is that those THOUGHTS that constantly come firing at us, lose their tenacity in being able to attach themselves to our identity.  I find myself musing at my own mental meanderings so often now.  It’s like watching a small child in my brain, curious and seeking, poking at this and that.  “Okay mind,” I say.  “If you want to play with that, go ahead. Interesting choice of toy!”  All around the mind the little child wanders. Fingers in sockets, fiddling with the stove, sometimes petting soft things and delighting in fun noise-makers.  All around she wanders, seemingly with no agenda, but needing stimulation, puzzles to play with, to stay busy.  Why? Perhaps because she is so used to it. Perhaps she has never been told that it is okay to rest. Certainly she operates according to certain sets of beliefs that are logged in and programmed, from years of living in a programmed world.

In the past for me, and for many of us, there was no separation between the child and me.  Now there is a recognition that the mind is this child, and goes about her business according to habit, but the I AM does not have to follow blindly.  The Self can just watch, and in fact, the self can find amusement in the child’s play.

Remember when you are caught in the throws of mental anguish, that there is a child in you thinking, but you need not be the child. Your Self can be the observer. Just watch where it goes, and allow it, with curiosity and non-judgement.  The child is revealing to you itself to you, but it is not YOU.  Just observe. Watch how it tries to control, to know everything about the past and the future; how it escapes the present and lives in other parallel times; it anticipates situations that are not real; how it engages in gymnastics and flips and flops until the next novel distraction. Just watch, as if you’re babysitting, and continually remind yourself of its separation from you, for by not identifying with your thoughts, you are liberating yourself and availing yourself to higher wisdom.

Eventually, the child will grow tired and exhaust itself to sleep.


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