Ending resistance

It has been said that that which you resist, persists. 
For some time now I’ve been really struggling with my version of a quarter life crisis, except that it’s more of a third life crisis for me as I turned 30 last year. After working in the field I received my masters degree in for two years, I (as you know if you follow my blog) fell ill and left work. I’ve been working odd jobs for the last six months and was offered a full time job in a field I’ve never set foot in before (sales). 
I have no idea, none at all, about what I’m doing with my life. 
I’ve pondered more school. Law school. Maybe medical school. Is it too late at my age? What’s the purpose of my life? I haven’t the slightest clue. 
And I’ve been fighting and fighting this vehemently. Searching my mind, scouring it for a sign, something to be sure of. Something that would remove my reservations. I’ve found none. 
Finally today I had a bit of a revelation, I think. Not a major one but certainly something. I just accepted it. I don’t know what I’m doing. That’s it. Why fight it? I am lost. Maybe the answers aren’t here now. Why continue fighting it? This is where I am. There’s nothing more to be said. 
I can’t say it’s comfortable to be in this position. But it’s a bit of a relief to stop (or at least, give myself permission to stop) putting pressure and expectations on myself. It wasn’t helping. So I sort of am sinking into the unknown. 
My yogi says that a quiet mind is a creative mind. So to all the scrambling attempts my mind makes toward figuring it all out I say: shhhhh. 

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  1. I’m nearing 40 and having a similar crisis. I also got my master’s degree – in school counseling – worked in that field for two years and didn’t like it. So I left to stay home with my kids. This was just in time for a major spiritual acceleration and right now I am so very grateful I listened to my guidance and left work. I would have lost my mind had I been at work still. Interestingly, I also entered “sales” which is way out of my comfort zone. It’s all online and makes money for me without me having to do much. Not much money but enough and that is fine with me.

    We are all being shifted in new directions and this is often not comfortable. I think you are making the right decision to go with the flow and see what answers come.

    Like

  2. Hi Danya- almost a year later, I hope you’re doing well!

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